Wednesday, August 6, 2008

How I got kicked out of a Mommy Group

Note: I think this is a reason I turned to blogging. I get the satisfaction of adult interaction with other Mommies at a distance and I can do it from the comfort and safety of my own home.

During my pregnancy the thought of “Play dates” and “Mommy Groups” excited me to my very core. I couldn't wait to find the perfect play group for my son and I. I had frequent visions of meeting wonderful women and Landon having tons of baby pals. It was going to be wonderful. Danny and I were the first couple to reproduce, you see so the whole Mommy Play Group phenomena was a gray area to me so I turned to GOOGLE and I diligently searched the Internet for “hip mommy groups” in my area and much to my surprise found a couple that seemed very promising. I was beyond excited!!!!!

One fairly popular play group (it will remain nameless) caught my interest (it seemed so fabulous). You had to be “accepted” into the group by creating a personnel profile about you and your child, I thought that was a little “funny” but in this day and age, it figured so I worked diligently on creating a MAGNIFICENT profile and submitted it to the group for acceptance (or denial). I anxiously waited and waited…….jeez “what the hell” is taking so long I thought to myself, it’s not like this is “rocket science,” I was perplexed. I complained openly to my sister, who at the time was my only post partum Savior, connection to the outside world. She reassured that the email would come and all would turn out good. Sister’s are really the best!!!

One cheerful summer morning, I decided to check my email and much to my surprise the email had arrived and was sitting lonely in my JUNK INBOX, OOH MY!! I quickly opened it up to see if we had been excepted into this prestigious group and we were!!!! I was ecstatic!!!! This was going to be the beginning of many wonderful things.

I will interject at this time that; A) It’s very hard for me to make friends, I am very shy until I get to know someone. B) I am not a GIRLY-GIRL, although I love fashion and looking hip, it’s not the world to me and I don’t need expensive things to make myself feel better (although at times it’s very nice). In high school I had a small group of girlfriends who I shared a LOVE/HATE relationship. C) I despise the “politics” that surround being a girl. I don’t care for the games that girls play with one another, it drives me “batty” to say the least. I frequently escaped my girlfriends to hang out with the fellas. Guy’s don’t care about “girl stuff” they are just there, hanging out and that is what I prefer. D) In college, I had two friends, Maria and Heather and although we had several acquaintances, for the most part we stuck to ourselves. They are awesome girlfriends and the three of us are as chummy today as back then. E) Once again I have a handful of girlfriends that I hang out with and LOVE.

Ok, ok, back to Mommy Groups, babies and ooh how I longed to be part of one of those groups.

Fast forward a couple weeks later, I had made several “buddies” on the online forum, they all “seemed” really nice and I couldn't wait for the next play date. It was Halloween time so the play date was a Halloween theme. I found Landon the perfect costume and we were off. I arrived at the play date excited with so many aspirations for the day for both Landon and I but soon my excitement turned into intimidation when I found myself surrounded by all these women and their babies, I wanted to run and hide. “Suck It Up!” I told myself as I introduced myself and Landon. The ladies introduced themselves and then “ooed” and “ahhhed” over Landon, “What?” am I suppose to do that to their babies? NOT. I can’t even begin to explain how lost I felt, it was horrible.

We casually conversed and within seconds I could tell that this club was not for me. The ladies were all fashionable, had perfect hair (which I had too!), designer purses, diaper bags (which I had too!) and strollers with brand names I could not even pronounce. I listened to some of the ladies converse about some of the other ladies and their kids, OMG, they are gossiping (something I hate more than split ends). “What on earth did I get myself into,” I thought to myself as I stood there, feeling like I was in high school, again. It was not long before they sucked me into their conversations (very controversial conversations) and some how the topic of I being a “WORKING MOMMY” came up, not a big deal or so I thought. One of the Mothers, THE UGLY (she was actually very pretty……witch) RING LEADER, interjected that most of the Mom’s in the club were stay-at-home Mommies and that she hoped me working would not interfere with us participating in play dates…..WHAT THE? I had to swallow the puke that was rising from my nauseated stomach!!!

Were they serious? She went on to interrogate me about child care and was much obliged to find out that Landon would be staying home with my sister, “Daycare is just such a horrible environment for babies!” I shrugged in silence and refrained myself from shoving my size 8.5 boot up her butt, not only for my own satisfaction, but for all the Working Mommies!!! The two hours dragged on for a small eternity and with every whisper, snide comment and cackle, I cringed with disapproval.

Where these ladies for real? I waited weeks for this? I was disappointed, devastated that all my aspirations about being a member in this elite mommy group were shattered. What made these Women think they had a right to judge another for her choices in life and parenting decisions. I felt very removed from the whole “MOMMY PLAY DATE” phenomena and sadly vowed to NEVER attend another play date with those Women (or any other group). They eventually kicked me out of their club, which is what I was hoping for after I stopped all contact with them and never went to any functions. They mentioned to me that a “Working Mommy Club!” might better suite me…… if……How do they know what would better suite me?

Since that experience I have been very hesitant to join or befriend other Mommies, they scare me. I am saddened that my son does not participate in such groups but I guess that is just part of life. My son is very active in activities that we participate in as a family and now that he is going to daycare….YES……daycare, he is meeting all sorts of new friends.

In the coming years as more of our friends start having children, I hope to start my own “HIP MOMMA” club. I will accept anyone who wants to join, under the conditions that everyone leaves their attitudes at the door, no gossiping or negative shenanigans will be allowed and sweat pants, t-shirts and flip flops will be acceptable attire, HAH!!!

1 comment:

quitecontrary1977 said...

I'd be in your hip momma club, girl! come by my blog sometime! i have a really fan designer bag giveaway going on right now! you should swing by and enter! it'll be fun!