Thursday, July 3rd
We are all packed up and on the road (OMG – We left on time), heading to Nebraska, WHOO HOO. Bye neighborhood see you in a couple days. Dog and Child are settling in for the long drive. This is going to be a great weekend I tell myself as I flip on some tun-age and settle in.
Are we there yet? I annoyingly ask my adorable husband (we are not even on the freeway, yet). He look’s at me and rolls his big beautiful greens. I gather from the look he gave me that I better not start-up with my shenanigans. Hehehehe, I love being ornery.
We merge onto the freeway and take-off. Man-o-man there are some crazy drivers out today. I get caught up serenading Danny and Landon with a couple favorite songs and next thing I know we are out in the wide-open spaces of the Colorado plains, the city a distant memory. KING GEORGE sings out from my phone, Ooh....it’s Amie, calling to to see if we have left yet; YES (She was very impressed). She asks where we were and I tell her, we just passed “so and so boulevard” She laughs and then tells me to tell her which “mile marker” SAY-WHAT? She explains – OK, the green things with the numbers. I see one up ahead, I relay the number. She figures from the mile marker that we are 15-20 minutes behind them, Cool. I tell her to drive safe and call me if anything interesting happens, she laughs and then we hang up. She is such a good friend – I love her.
A couple dairy farms and a whole lot of nothing pass and then out of nowhere we hear a loud BANG and thud, thud, thud sound. I frantically look at Danny, WHAT was that? We have a flat! he explains as he pulls off the road onto the very narrow shoulder. OMG, I think to myself, We are going to die! I remain calm, which is very odd for me because I am all about dramatics!!!! Danny gets out of the car to check the tires – It’s the trailer. Damn! Next thing I know Danny is telling me to help get the dog. ooh no, that means I have to leave the security of the front seat and get out of the car – stay calm I tell myself. I get out, climb over some brush and a raging red ant farm. I get the dog. The Dog starts freaking out because of the LOUD cars and trucks, he breaks loose from his collar - WHAT THE HELL – I tackle the dog (GI Jane style) on the side of road and get his collar back on. I safely return him to the front seat of the car. OMG, I really want to freak-out right about now because the dog and I almost died and I now have sticky things all over my flip flops and a couple brush scratches , I am freaking out inside.
I am certain the next semi-truck that is about to pass is going to plow into us and take us all out. My stomach is in knots and I want to vomit all over the floor of the car but I don’t, I remain calm, WHY? because it’s the right thing to do at this time. Landon wakes up from his nap and starts screaming because he wants out of his car seat, NOW. I see Danny out of the review mirror looking distressed, OMG, something’s wrong! He doesn’t know how to change a flat!!! We really are going to die on the side of the road. Child is now screaming at the top of his lungs, crocodile tears a-flowing. Do I get him out? Just as I start to get him out of the seat, Danny appears at the window. DON’T get him out!!!! He then confesses to me that we don’t have the proper tools to change the trailer flat, something about lug-nuts and we don’t have the right size……yada, yada, yada. OMG, What do we do?
I start my ramblings, he tells me to call our road side assistance but since I have never done it – I fall lame and sit there helpless with my crying child, the drooling dog and my cell phone. What do I do? I find the insurance card and call the 1-800 number, the one you are to call in an accident. I go thru a slew of prompts and finally get an operator and her first question is WHERE ARE YOU? Huh? In the middle of no-where, just passed the white barn with all the cows?? I have no FLIPPING idea where we are!! HELLO, I was too busy thinking about a lake with sandy beaches to recall the last damn mile marker we passed, OMG!!!
I call for Danny, he doesn’t know where we are either, so he takes the phone and starts running down the highway, no joke. I can’t take the crying child anymore so I remove him from his car seat and give him some NEMO snacks, silenced him right up. I hold him tight and look cautiously in the rear view mirror for the semi that is bound to hit us sooner or later. RV's, Trucks, Semi's and cars race by.
I start to pray to the ol’ mighty one and wouldn’t you know it, a blue Chevy pick-up appears out of now-where. I perk up, HELP has arrived, at least I think he's here to help. Ooh-No, what if he's here to kidnap me and make me a slave on his farm? HELP!!!!
A man, dressed in all black (with pure white hair) emerges just as Danny runs up from checking the sign. He and Danny talk a few minutes and then go to his truck and start pulling out a bunch of tools. Danny then starts to work on the tire, HIS tools work. AMEN!!! I mentally thank the lord for answering my prayers. The Fella checks in on us and asks if Landon wants to watch Daddy change the tire. His sweet demeanor instantly calms my nagging nerves. I tell him we will stay inside and I thank him profusely, as he saved our lives and my sanity. In minutes Danny has the flat changed and we are ready for take-off. I offer the MAN in BLACK my life but he happily declines and tells us, “ I just wanted to help. I don’t need anything in return!” OMG, he is a saint, maybe even an angel sent from God. Whatever he is, he saved us.
Everyone is back in their places (with sunshiny faces) and we are ready to hit the road. As Danny gets into the car and notices the hazards are off, he asks, Did you turn off the hazards? NO – I touched nothing. We quickly realize we have no signals/blinker whatever your fancy. Nothing. Danny frantically starts going over what could possibly be wrong and I ask, Do we have break lights?, YES Danny replies. THEN let’s just get off this road. We can pull-off at the next exit and figure it out the signals. He happily agrees and we take-off, as he uses his hand signals and I can't help but laugh because hand signals are FUNNY!!!!
The next exit is McDonald's so we pull off. My baby is ferocious and needs some food. I swoop him into MacDonald's and order him a HAPPY Meal and myself the whole menu (not really) because I am an emotional eater and I've just experienced every emotion known to humans so I need some comfort. Danny remains outside trying to figure out the signals and eventually comes in, distressed, for he was not able to figure out the problem.
A cute older couple with an adorable little boy sit next to us and our boy's start eyeing one another. What a cute couple I think to myself. A little old to be having a baby that age but still cute. Maybe they are the Grandparents. Landon continues to show-off for the little guy. Our boy is too funny.
Our bellies are full, we are happy and back on the road (On the road again!)Stay tune for the next camping adventure installment.